Schnauzenfreude "Diagnosis Confirmed" — Heavyweight Long Sleeve Tee

schnauzenfreude (n.) — the joy derived from your dog's complete and utter nonsense. If you're reading this, you already have it. This shirt just makes it official.

Printed large across the back in clinical black and white: a specimen schnauzer, framed and labeled, with the diagnosis rendered in cold technical type. Fig. 1. No treatment plan. No prognosis. Just a bearded dog and the quiet acknowledgment that you're not getting better.

This hoodie is worth the upgrade. Heavyweight 6.5 oz. combed ring-spun cotton, soft-washed so it feels broken-in from the first wear, with a tight knit that holds fine line work — which matters here, since the design lives or dies on thin rules and small mono lettering. Side-seamed for a fit that doesn't box out after a wash. Tear-away label, because the only tag you need is the one on the dog.

Wear it to the vet. Let them draw their own conclusions.

Fabric & construction

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Charcoal Heather and Carbon Grey: 60% cotton, 40% polyester
• Fabric weight: 6.5 oz./yd.² (220 g/m²)
• 20 singles
• Soft-washed fabric with an ultra-soft hand-feel
• Side-seamed construction
• Tightly knit fabric for superior printability
• Single-needle edge stitching
• 7/8" 1×1 ribbed collar with Lycra® for enhanced durability
• Tear-away label

The print

• Large back placement, approx. 11.8 in wide
• One-color design — garment color shows through the schnauzer, so the shirt itself becomes part of the artwork
• Dark ink on light garments, cream ink on dark
• Part of the Schnauzenfreude collection from Everything Schnauzy — Brinnon, WA